Formal

It's strange how formal the work life is here in Canada. There is this almost tangible line between front-line staff and management, where it's very clear who is above the other. People in management positions have this air of authority around them, which I don't have. I can act like it of course, but my view on being in management is a little more relaxed. In my world I'm just one in a group of people and my role is to supervise. Sometimes this means that I have to make a decision, sometimes even a very unpopular and unpleasant one, but most of the time I want to have discussions about things, where the staff is saying what they want and feel. Sometimes this is hard, because some in the staff have a hard time believing that they can say things openly to me and some of them even almost apologize for taking up my time. I think that my informal ways have puzzled some of them and I can see a couple of my staff almost visibly relax.

I think that it's probably a little old fashioned where I work, since the senior management has been there for over twenty years and stick to an older style of management. They are nice people though, so no one is trying to use their position in a bad way. It feels a bit strange though with this distance, but also with all the layers of management. We are 50 people, including management, and if you count IT and finances we are 18 people at management meetings, with 15 of us with manager titles - President, Vice Presidents, Managers and Coordinators. This means that 32 people are front-line staff. Not exactly a flat organization, eh? That is what I am used to. In the last real management position I had I was managing several units with a total of 135 people. I had 6 supervisors "under" me and that was all. IT and finances were done somewhere else. I know that extremely flat organizations isn't always a good thing, when decision making is watered down and their is no sense of direction, but there must be a middle way.

I'm not complaining though, even if it sounds like it. Thanks to the system I have a job and with a salary that is a bit better than the front-line staff. The salary is kind of low in general though, and I guess that is because it's non-for-profit. One in my staff has gotten another job now and she will earn at least 40 percent more than I do now, and for a position where only part is supervising. That is government. I've heard that they are even more formal and strict there. Omg! Well, I guess the pay makes it worth it and maybe you'll get used to the culture. I have adapted a little already, even if I'm still more straight forward and outspoken than the others and way less formal. I still feel like a fish on land in my dress pants and jacket.

New year's update

Hi there, little blog!

Sorry that I haven't been so active, but I've been busy working. It feels good to be part of the working community again and being a coordinator at an employment agency isn't so bad for being an immigrant, eh? It's three months now and I can fel myself thriving, being a professional again. It didn't feel like that at Starbucks. Maybe because I felt it wasn't really for me, even if I tried to be enthusiastic about entering a new kind of career and everything. My guess is that I tried to talk myself into being motivated because I was freaking out. Being unemployed isn't something I ever want to be again. That uncertainty, and especially the financial side of it, was tearing me apart. I'm not normally a person who is depressed, but afterwards I can see that I probably was, even if I didn't want to admit it. I was probably afraid that admitting it would be like allowing myself to fall into a big black hole. My self control functions are too strong for me to allow something like that, and denial is an effective method.

So my new life as employed suits me well, but not only because I hate being unemployed. I really like it a lot where I am, even if it sometimes feels strange to be in an environment where everyone speaks English. Sometimes I feel like I'm slipping away from my own language, but I guess it's there in the back of my head. I think in English though, so I only use Swedish when I read a blog or talk with people back "home". I have learned a lot of new fancy words. Since I'm not proud and ask people what things mean, I learn a lot every week - words, about different cultures, laws, customs etcetera. It's very interesting.

In my home life everything is fine, except that we want to move...already. No, not from here, but from the apartment. It's not a very good one, even if it's far better that to live where we first did. We miss an elevator for the dogs and efter grocery shopping, there are barely no electric plug ins, the kitchen is way too small and old-fashioned, we can hear everything in the hallway outside of the entrance door (which means that people outside can hear everything from our apartment), a radiator is leaking (and the janitor never fixes it), the outdoor lamps are often broken, we have no space to put everything, the hallway is too small, the bathroom is too small, is freakish with all the hairs they kept on the floor when they varnished it, there is ice between the windows..... You can see that we need to move, right? We're thinking about moving closer to where I work, which means closer to downtown. Yes, it's going to be more expensive and there aren't as many parks for the dogs, but it would be more convenient. We want something more modern. I never thought I would think that a 50 year old building is old, but here it is. I'm used to buildings from the beginning of the 19th century that are more modern that this one, but I guess it depends on how you take care of it. This building is just a money cow. So every time I have a minute over at work I look at postings for apartments, just to get an idea of what there is out there. We're planning to move in June, so no hurry, but we like to be prepared.

Otherwise life is good. We have finally bought a tv, so we're like any other family now. It's just the car that is missing, but we will get there. Oh, and I got a Sony e-reader for Christmas. It's awesome!

Shopping

So, now I have been shopping, which is something that I hate. My new manager said that she would send me information soon about what I need to bring the first day at work, but also about the dress code. Oh god, I thought, but then I realized that it can't be as bad as at Starbucks. It's probably just the kind of formal office clothes they have here. I looked at how people were dressed when I went to my two interviews and it looked reasonable. I still wish I could have jeans and a shirt, but that's not going to happen, so I might as well forget that idea and adapt to the custom of my new home country.

Anyway, I went shopping yesterday. When I was out with my sister the other day I bought a couple of shirts and yesterday even more shirts and a few pants and jackets. I totally hate shopping, but it's better now when I'm thinner. I mean, now I can actually find decent clothes, which is such a relief. It was a bit funny though, because I had to ask the clerks what they thought was appropriate, how the pants are supposed to fit, what they thought went well together etc. They looked at me as if I was making fun of them, so I had to explain to them that I'm a jeans girl and then they smiled and were very helpful.

So now I'm all set for work. I will of course need more clothes soon. And winter is coming so a jacket and new shoes too. It's going to be an expensive Fall :-)

Finally!

Last Friday they finally had been able to reach all of my references in Sweden. Imagine that they took the trouble to call all of this people, with the time difference and everything. Yesterday afternoon the manager called and said that they wanted to hire me. Me? Me! Wow! I danced in the room and said Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. She could hear my happiness because she giggled and sounded glad. So I start on October 11 and a few days before she will send me instructions about what to bring the first day and about the dress code there.
Today I went down town with my sister, who is visiting from Sweden, and started to shop for office clothes. No more jeans and a tee. Now it's going to be dress pants, shirts and jackets. It doesn't matter though. I have a job, so I don't have to worry about money and I can feel like i AM someone again. I never want to be unemployed again. It has definitely been a humbling experience, but it's enough now. Now I just want to work the fifteen years or so I have left before I retire. I have learned a lot about being an immigrant, being unemployed, writing cover letters, doing interviews etcetera, and I will of course use all this knowledge in my professional life. Before I had theoretical knowledge about these things - and now I know.

References

Maybe I didn't scare the interviewers after all. Yesterday the manager called me and asked for additional telephone numbers to my Swedish references. She had tried to call my last manager and had gotten stuck with a message in Swedish. She had of course come to the automatic switch board, since it was well after 6 PM in Sweden and most government units close at 4. I sent her an email later with the direct number to him and also the two extra references she had asked for.

They must be at least a little interested if she takes the trouble to call people in Sweden for references. Well, they should be. I would do well there. Not many can get a social worker with more than 25 years of experience and 15 of them as a manager, for a lower manager position and rather low salary. For me that's enough though. I have no ambition to be a higher manager again, with all that paper work and enormous budgets. It was more or less boring and stressful. It's nicer to work closer to the clients and at that level I have more freedom to develop and grow.

Did well

The interview went well - I think. It's always hard to know what other people think, but if I had interviewed someone and they had answered what I did, I would be thrilled :-) Biased? Me? Nah...

So first they asked a lot of difficult questions for about an hour and after that there was a written assignment. That also took an hour. When I came home and read my answers to Crissy I discovered a couple of errors - one word that I used wrong and two small words that had fallen off. I hope they aren't too hard about that. I mean, how can it be totally perfect with a time limit, and English is my second language, goddammit.

My feeling is good though. I have all the qualities they are looking for, all the experience and other qualifications. If they don't choose me it must be because someone else has even more, which would surprise me..or it could be something personal. Even if I think that I'm a charming and nice person who are very likable, they may want some other personality. All I do know is to hope and cross my fingers. After this job it would be hard to start applying again. Nothing else will feel as good as this. They never said anything about when they will have decided, so I'll just need to be patient and apply for other jobs in the meantime.

A call! A call! A call!

They called last Friday about a second interview next week. I actually knew a couple of days before that, because I thought I would try a different approach and send a thank you email to the people who interviewed me. I thought that it would be good for the future, if they have more openings. It never hurts to be polite. Anyway, the manager sent a message back and apologized for not calling. They were very late with the hiring process. They were interested in meeting me again though and she said they would call in a few days and confirm with a date.

So, good news. I hope am what they are looking for. I wish I knew something about my competition, which would help me preparing for the interview. Now I just have to think some more about how I can be useful for this organization, which I sincerely think that I would.